What happens under the bed stays under the bed
by dark soul 1313
Summary: This is a story me and my friend made after we had a whole bunch of pop and though that some of the Naruto characters are under the bed, feel free to think it's you and 2 friends in our story! extreme OOC ness and crack fic! GaaXOc, ItaXOc, and others!
1. what happens at my bday stays there

_Dark soul 1313: Hey there everyone, this is my first story! Called 'What happens under the bed stays under the bed!'_

_Sakura Sama 101: This is for all Gaara and Itachi fans, how this story came about was a good one and will explain some of the more random moments in this fic. _

_Dark soul 1313: It all started at my birthday party and we over did it on the pop. _

_Sakura Sama 101: Yeah eight freaking cans each! And we were going to bed at 2 in the morning after watching the covenant, and well you'll find out later, we documented our little adventure and added more of our own thoughts in there to make it more interesting. _

_Dark soul 1313: It's too much of a pain to leave blanks for your names so we put in our own aliases, (hope you don't mind and if you do then too bad!) Oh and there's one person that's not in the show, Cody, who is our friend who isn't on fanfiction's crush, and we added him in to make things interesting cause he was one of the topics we had on our mad sugar rush. Which this is why this is a crack fic as Sakura Sama calls it. there is major ooc ness and mild bashing of some characters. _

_Sakura Sama 101: well we better get on with it, since I'm the one who has to type it, and so I'll do the disclaimer so you don't get your ass sued Leslie. _

_Disclaimer: Leslie and I don't own Naruto, and Rachel doesn't own Cody as much as she would like to. _

At Tonya's house Kai and Kari are celebrating her 17th birthday by the lake house. They were fooling around on the bed until Kari fell off and everybody started laughing until she thinks of a joke.

"Hey Tonya, I bet there's monsters under your bed." Kari commented.

"Probably her demons or evil spirits." Kai added.

"I don't believe in monsters." Tonya retorted.

"Then check." Kari teased resting her head on the mattress and gave her a look to say 'If you're not scared…' Tonya looked under her bed and came up with a surprised look.

"I saw 5 red eyes and a guy with brown hair."

"How in the hell do you see a five eyed person?! Are you blind?" Kari asked.

"If you're so sure about it, why don't you take a look?" Tonya retorted.

"Fine, I will." Kari said and brushed a black piece of hair under her face, she jumped back on the bed moments before to give Tonya some room to look under the bed. She gracefully bent down and used her hands as balance as she looked under the bed. She came up with her eyebrows raised and her lips were pulled into a thin line.

"Well?" Tonya and Kai asked expectantly.

"I also saw a guy with red hair, kanji love symbol on his forehead and aqua eyes and a guy with blue skin." Kari answered.

They became silent an all shout out the answer

"Itachi, Sasuke, Kakashi, Cody, Gaara and Kisame!" they shouted.

"What are they all doing here?!" Kai asked.

"I don't look at me! I didn't invite them!" Tonya shouted.

"Then go ask Gaara why he's here." Kai stated calmly like this happened everyday.

"Are you kidding? No!"

"Why not?" Kari asked shifting her position.

Kai whispers in Kari's ear "Because she likes him."

"Kari, can you go talk to him?" Tonya pleaded folding her hands and looked chibi style.

Kari let out a small sigh as she lowered her upper half of her body to talk to them for a few minutes. she came back up after a bit and had a smile on her face. "Gaara said he came to see you 'privately.'

Tonya looked under the bed and saw that she was only a millimetre or two away from his face. They stared in eachothers eyes for a minute then Gaara quickly kissed Tonya and she jumped up. Her face was cherry red.

"What happened?" Kai asked.

"H-He kissed m-me!" Tonya half squealed half screamed.

"Then that's our cue to leave." Kari said suggestively.

"What!? Why are you leaving?!" Tonya asked.

"So we can leave you two alone!" Kari joked.

"Whoever else is in here we're leaving! Only Tonya will be in here!" Kai yelled and she and Kari left to go find super troopers.

Tonya was left in the room alone. Tonya felt sand crawling up her legs and back then something covered her eyes.

"Guess who…" a voice asked.

"Haha funny." Tonya answered. She gently grabs Gaara's hands and takes them of her eyes. He then wrapped them around her chest and cuddled her back.

"What're you doing here?" Tonya asked.

"I wanted to see you and wish you a happy birthday." Gaara answered.

"So whatcha gonna do to me hmm?" Tonay joked.

"So many unspeakable things."

"**Yesss. So many unspeakable things." **Shukaku said in Gaara's mind.

"Really." Tonya flirted.

"Don't worry I'll be gentle." Gaara said.

Tonya cuddled up to Gaara. "Well you're gonna have to wait for a while."

"Why?" Gaara asked.

"Cause I said so." Tonya answered.

"You're pissing me off."

"Good, then maybe you'll get some good ideas." Tonya said as she left to go get her friends and Gaara was left to plot ideas on what he was going to do next.

//Gaara's POV//

"Wait until I get my hands on her! I'm gonna tie her to a bed and do-" 

"Unspeakable things?" Gaara finished Shukaku's sentence.

"Yes, extremely unspeakable things. Many unspeakable things!" 

//End POV//

Kari walked out of the room with Kai behind her, leaving Tonya to whatever fate Gaara had in store for her.

"I hope she'll be alright…from what you told me Gaara's a psychopathic killer." Kai said.

Kari walked past another bedroom and was viciously grabbed and pulled into it. then amazingly and luckily it was Itachi.

"You shouldn't go in that room for a while." He spoke.

Kari sarcastically replied "No duh Sherlock." But she had a big grin plastered all over her face.

"He was talking to his demon before we came here and it sounded like they were scheming." Itachi added.

"This is bad." Kari said with a sigh.

"No it's not." Itachi answered.

"How is it not bad?" Kari asked.

"We can spent time together now."

Kari hears the bedroom Tonya's in open then close.

"Sorry not now, maybe later." Kari said then pecked him on the lips then walked out into the hallway. Kari found Tonya with a smile while heading to the kitchen. "What's got you happy? Wait, I don't wanna know."

"Don't worry nothing happened." Tonya answered.

"OMG that's a first!"

"Shut up."

"I bet he's pissed."

"The parting words were 'think of better ideas'." Tonya answered.

"You're gonna get something tonight." Kari teased.

"I know. But what about you and Itachi?"

"Same thing I guess."

"To piss them off even more lets stay up all night and share the same room for the next few days."

"Kay, you tell Kai bout the plan and I'll get snacks." Kari said turning around to the kitchen.

* * *

"That's it! I'm getting serious! I'm borrowing Make-out violence!" Itachi muttered back in the room and he goes under the bed and goes through a secret passage to talk to Kakashi.

* * *

Kai went to the bedroom where all her stuff is and sees Cody with no shirt on laying on the bed. Soft music playing in the background and some candles were lighted. Kai stands there in shock

"Why don't you come over here Kai?" Cody asked. And like a command her feet began to move towards the bed, then she sat down, not looking at his gaze.

'I can't believe this is happening! I hope this isn't a dream and if it is…don't wake me…' Kai thought. Cody comes near her and was just about to kiss her…until a pounding came at the door. 'Damn! I jinxed myself!'

"Kai! Open the damn door you idiot!" Tonya yelled. For a second Tonya felt sand go up her right leg. When she turned around one of the doors leading to another room was shut. She sighed knowing who it was. "Kai! Open the door before Gaara attacks me!" The door slams open with Kai looking pissed at Tonya. "What?" She asked innocently.

"Oh you know what! I almost got something and you ruined it!" Kai answered frustrated.

"Well I have a great excuse!" Tonya said victoriously.

"What is it?" Kai asked fearing the worst.

"We're gonna piss off the boys!"

"That's so old you ass!"

"Not when we're gonna get something out of it."

"I'm listening…"

"If we piss off the guys long enough and put in a side order of temptations we'll get something good out of it." Tonya explained the plan.

"One ruined moment leads to a good one." She sighed. "I'm in."

"Good."

Kai turned to Cody "sorry but think of something better."

They both head back to their room leaving a fuming Cody who was pissed as hell and sad that he couldn't complete what he started. "Damn it! I'm killing Tonya and getting my lady!"

_END!! _

_Sakura Sama 101: You owe me big for this! _

_Dark soul 1313: I'm letting you borrow my DN Angel series! _

_Sakura Sama 101: Good point! _

_Dark soul 1313: Well please review! I want to know how good I did; I accept constructive criticism as well, and flames I'll take but I don't know what kind of response I'll give. I'm trying to follow Sakura's example and not trying to make Mary-Sues…and all that. Oh and yah sorry if all of this is going too fast but this is what happened, for real (well the characters weren't there but you get what I mean.) _

_Sakura Sama 101: We don't know when we'll update either, we still have to finish the second chapter. Buhbye for now! _

_Dark soul 1313: Yeah see ya! _


	2. suger rushes & insane girlsnothing good

_Sakura Sama 101: Well it's me instead of Leslie instead…I'm the only one here this time since she's grounded and I'm not gonna say why because that's her business. But here's the next chapter of her story. _

_Disclaimer: Dark Soul 1313 doesn't own Naruto she's just borrowing them. _

Tonya, Kari and Kai sat on the bed in the main master bedroom with many cases of pop, candies chips and did I mention pop? They were playing black jack while the boys lay under the bed waiting for the perfect moment. Then out of nowhere Kai got poked in the back. She looked under the bed for a few seconds then came up to look at Kari.

"Itachi wants to know who gave you the idea that you could walk out when you knew you were getting something tonight."

"Tell him it was my choice to walk out and if he has a problem take it up with my ass." Kari said to Kai.

Kai went back under the bed again and came up with a smirk "He said he'd love to."

The girls start to giggle until Kari gets poked and got a message from Gaara. "Gaara wants to know the same thing." Kari asked Tonya.

"Tell him it's the same thing Kari said." Tonya answered. Kari talked to Gaara for a few minutes and came up looking like she is just about to burst out laughing and amazed.

"What did he say?" Kai asked wondering what's in it for Tonya

"He said he's using his third eye and he loves the view." Kari pointed behind and the eye was right at Tonya's ass.

"And?" Tonya asked swiping at the eye.

"And he's saying the same stuff about wanting to do things to you…" Kari said annoyed.

"…."

"He also says that if you're sore in the morning you can blame him and you're gonna love every minute of it." Kari finished dramatically. Everyone started laughing.

"So you're not supposed to tell everyone!"

"Hehe…" My bad." Kari chuckled.

"Hello, the plan?!" Kai broke in.

Tonya got poked. "Cody says come back to the room with your shit in it and he'll show you a good time."

"Tell him DEAL!" Kai shouted instantly changing her tune.

"No! Tell him no. We have a plan!" Kari butted in.

Kai almost began to cry, "This is not fair, not fair I'm telling you!"

"Life's not fair." Kari answered.

"Life's a bitch." Kai moaned.

"If it were a slut it'd be easier." Tonya piped up.

Kari got poked "Tonya, Gaara asks if it's ok if you get sand in some places."

"Sure." Tonya answered.

"You're a slut!" Kai yelled.

"And proud as hell to be one." Tonya admitted.

"You're one too Kai." Kari sighed.

"And so are you Kari."

"We're all sluts." Tonya yelled.

"Whatever you say…" Kari sighed.

"Cheers to that!" Kai shouted and they had 6 cans of pepsi, 2 in each hand and start drinking both at the same time then start a belching contest.

//Under the bed POV//

Itachi, Cody and Gaara shout, "We love our Tomboy girlfriends."

They throw a party to celebrate and dance like crazy people.

//on the bed POV//

Kari, Kai and Tonya sigh, "We love our crazy boyfriends."

They also throw a party and dance even crazier.

Tonya got poked halfway through, "Kari Itachi wants you."

"What does he want?" Kari asked.

"You."

"hehe good one."

Tonya got poked again "Kai I got an IM from Cody."

"TELL ME ALL MIGHTY MESSENGER!" Kai yelled.

"Where did that come from?" Kari asked.

"I don't know. I think the sugar's getting to me." Kai answered.

"He says he has a present for ya and it's hard and long."

"I can't take it anymore I must go!" Kai cried. Tonya and Kari try to hold Kai down so she won't go to Cody.

Kari got poked while trying to hold Kai down "Gaara says to go under the bed for a surprise."

"Please…I've done better." Tonya answered.

"Gaara asks who." Kari grunted holding Kai's legs down

"Kankuro." Tonya answered.

"WHAT!!??" Gaara yelled jumping from under the bed.

"Your face." Kari said randomly

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN KANKURO WAS BETTER THAN ME? And when did he do you?!" Gaara yells.

"He did better than you and second when you went on your killing spree you didn't pay attention to me." Tonya answered.

"I'm sorry but that doesn't mean you can sleep with my brother." Gaara snarled.

"Actually it wasn't him it was some other person…" Tonya said remembering.

"WHO YOU STUPID BITCH!?"

"ME!? A stupid bitch?! I got the bigger guns you know!"

"Fine bring it!"

Gaara was now standing face to face with Tonya who was sitting on her knees on the bed.

"Fine! It was your uncle Yashamaru!" Tonya blurted.

Gaara just froze his shocked expression stared into Tonya's pissed off face.

"You…done…with, him." Gaara summoned his sand shield and hid in it. Tonya gets off the bed and walks over to the shield.

"Come on Gaara, I was only kidding."

Silence…

"Leave me alone." Gaara's voice ordered.

"I always kid around, come on Gaara drop your shield."

"Ton, I think you may have pushed it way to far." Kari informed.

"You think? She really torn his pride and ego, burned it then made Kisame eat it." Kai corrected her.

"I hurt him that bad?" Tonya asked.

"Uhh…yeah." The other two answered.

"Come on Gaara drop the shield. I'm so sorry! You can do anything you want to me and I'll let you." Tonya said in hurt and apologizing tones.

"Leave me alone, I fight only for myself and love only myself." Gaara answered in a raspy voice.

"Shit he's going back to his "freaky" stage!" Tonya informed. "Gaara come out of there before I make you!" there was silence "That's it I'm going in!" Tonya grabbed the chainsaw and started hacking at the sand.

(I didn't want to use the demons….i don't want to make them **too** crazy and Mary-Sue ish…cause most Mary-Sues are demons…most cases.)

after an hour Tonya managed to put a fair sized dent into the sand shield before Gaara came out. Tonya immediately forced him on the bed but he turned away so Tonya couldn't see his face.

"Come on Gaara, how many times do I have to say I'm sorry? Hm?" Gaara didn't answer "What do I have to do? A lap dance?" Gaara remained silent. Tonya moved in front of him and straddled his legs. She draped her arms around his neck and kissed him but he didn't kiss back. She took her lips away from him and sighed in defeat. "I give, he's royally pissed at me." She crawls off him and sits away from him facing Kari and Kai "It's hopeless and he hates my guts."

Then suddenly something wrapped around her breasts and pulled her back, something heavy fell on her stomach and crashed into her face. When she opened her eyes she saw Gaara's eyes closed kissing her deeply. Finally she let her body relax and opened her mouth for him. They continued like that for a while, both seeking comfort in eachother until finally Gaara pulled away. In the backround you could see Kari and Kai gagging and making faces and pretending to throw up in Tonya's draws and eating and talking. Basically ignoring Tonya for the past hour and a half.

"I'm sorry I over reacted, it's just the thought of him with you scared me and I forgive you." Gaara whispered

"Really?" Tonya asked.

"Yes."

"You want to stay up here for a bit?"

"Sure."

"The mission…" Kari reminded her friend.

"He's a hopeless mess. You saw what happened when he took the joke the wrong way." Tonya scolded.

"Yeah but-" Kari began

"We can get Itachi up here for you." Kai interrupted

"Yah sure, Itachi get up here." Kari called.

"Yah you too Cody."

The other two came up

Kari rested her head on Itachi's shoulder and he put an arm around her and Kai placed herself in Cody's lap and Tonya rested her back on Gaara's chest. And they turned on the TV and started watching 'Accepted.'

Two hours later the movie finished and the boys were comfy against the girls, piles of blankets and mountains of pillows "I have an idea." Tonya commented.

"Run and hide she's thinking for once!" Kari joked.

Tonya starts laughing with the others then goes monotone "hahahaha no."

"What is it love?" Gaara asked.

"Instead of the school initials spelling S.H.I.T we should create a university with its initials spelling F.U.C.K"

everyone chuckles at the idea.

"I got the F.U part but I can't figure out C." Tonya added.

"What does the F.U part sand for?"

"Fairview university duh."

"Don't say duh to her!" Cody ordered

"I can say duh to her whenever I feel like it." Tonya retorted.

"No you can't."

"Yes I can."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

Both Cody and Tonya jump at eachother ready to strangle eachother but they don't even reach eachother cuz Kai has her arms around Cody's chest pulling him backward and Tonya had Gaara laying on top of her.

"I…shall…kill…him!" Tonya grunted trying to push Gaara off of her.

"You…Die." Cody grunted.

"Will you both shut up?!" Gaara and Kai shouted.

Kari and Itachi are just sitting together watching the fight. Tonya started squirming harder to get free and get her hands around Cody's neck.

Gaara whispered into Tonya's ear "You can struggle all you want I don't mind."

Tonya's face goes read and then kicks Gaara off the bed.

"Ok happy time's over, everyone under the bed now!"

Itachi and Cody calmly walk back under the bed so they won't face Tonya's wrath again

_END!_

_Um…Leslie…the flashback doesn't quite fit in with the story…cause how does Cody face Tonya's wrath? It's only Itachi who gets it in the flashback. And yah please review or whatever…_


	3. Author anouncement

Hello my dear readers.

This is Dark Soul 1313 here with bad news to the people who read 'What happens under the bed stays under the bed.

I shall be discontinuing this story because i have lost interest and have lost my train of thought on how this was supposed to go.

I will however continue if i find ideas that will inspire me to do so.

I am sorry for the inconvenience.

I'll be writing more anime story soon to come so don't worry.

From your loving Author,

Dark Soul 1313


	4. another dreaded authors notice not bad

Hello my dear readers! Yes, i'm not dead and yes i'm sure that you all want to kill me because i told you that i was going to cancel this story...

WELL YOU'RE WRONG!!!

I found my muse again! It was hiding somewhere in with my friends, parting, hyperness and now a bit of booze... so this is what i'm tring to say...

'WHAT HAPPENS UNDER THE BED STAYS UNDER THE BED' will be continued! With a whole new of funny! crazyness and pervertedness! But sadly it will take a while because i can't get word document on my computer because of some stupid thing that we have to figure out. So right now i'm using a friends laptop and after i post this i have to find another code of typing and posting.

But i promise that i'll have a bunch of new chapters for the story. And for my amusement i might start posting other stories like oneshots and all of that.

From your great and (some what) loyal auther

~ Dark Soul 1313


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